Not all sunshine and rainbows

Hellohello, The past weeks were intense. Two weeks ago my supervisor from university arrived here for a visit, and we set out a very yielding but also tight schedule. Besides insect trap construction, we met with many rice farmers to talk about their knowledge and perception of biological diversity - what they think it brings to their production. That was really interesting and I'm sure I will involve the discussions' results in the research on the indicators.

And last week we went back to Phnom Penh to have some expert interviews with people from organizations involved in conservation and protection of Cambodian biodiversity. And on friday, to top it off, my CIRAD supervisors organized a workshop where I could join and hold a presentation again about my work. The workshop was an interesting and important exchange about ongoing research projects within and in between research organizations. But all these things also made me tired now, so I had a slower-paced weekend - for example by the pool with Asja (who lost her sunglasses inside it)

I'm starting to realize, that this is not only my first time being so far from home for such a long time, but it's also my first time working professionally in this field. In the internships, part-time jobs, and civil services I've worked in so far, I've never been exposed to this kind of independence, responsability, and also expectations. And as I don't have a point of reference, I find it challenging to find balance in life and work right now. I could actually set my own objectives of research and activities I want to do - and that's great. But there are two sides to it, because I want to do the work seriously and in a manner that does have an impact. And if I set out to do too much, I feel overwhelmed and more stressed. In general I'm not really scared of being stressed and I think it's a normal part of everyday life. But I think it's too much, if I'm thinking about it extensively while trying to sleep or if I feel like I have to drink more than one/two coffees per day to keep up - and especially if that mode keeps up for several weeks.
So finding out about my feel-good zone is an ongoing process right now. And I also think, that the ability to just not give a *** in some situations is also very valuable.

On another note, I'm here in Cambodia now for almost two months! I am getting more and more used to living here, and I think I can say I've found my place here in Battambang. I know where I can find what, I have some people I see every day and get along with well, and I feel very happy in my appartment.

The Cambodian people I'm meeting day by day and the Battambang atmosphere are also really contributing to this. Riding through Battambang by bicycle, you see mostly one-story buildings built with simple materials. On your left and on your right you are passed by motorbikes all the time, and even if traffic sometimes feels uncoordinated, I think people take care for each other. Throughout the whole city, small shops and street food stalls are aligned on the roadsides and it's visible, that families live and sleep in the same buildings. Depending on the daytime, adults sit around a low plastic table in front of the shops to eat, drink and chat in company. The kids are playing close by and show big curiosity in a stranger on a bicycle passing by. Most of the time you get a bigbig smile and an English "hellooooo". In between the houses you can see many green areas with trees and small pastures for cattle. The cattle is mostly white zebu - a subspecies of cows with a hump above their shoulders and greater heat tolerance than our European friends. On the way from my home to the university, where our office is, I pass one of the major markets - very practical if I'm too lazy to cook milkrice for breakfast.

But riding through town not only leaves me with feelings of ease as a foreigner with financial independence. It's clear, that I have a freedom that almost everyone in this city does not have, even if I didn't do anything for it at all. A feeling of illegitimacy follows me a bit everywhere I go and I think this feeling exists rightfully. And it even grows when I meet other westerners here in Cambodia. Most of them are tourists, volunteers, or teachers. Many of the latter two are working part-time and some of them are involved in christian missions. The discussions are often just boring, bland, and repetative. Yes, food and costs of living are extremely cheap; yes, this tourist activity is stunning; yes, the Khmer history is tragic; yes, the people here are very friendly, .... The perspective we are taking in is incredibly far away from local realities, and we act only as observers and enjoyers. Life here seems only so nice to us, because we are this financially rich and willing to take advantage of the gap in purchasing power.

And that doesn't mean, that the local peoples' life is not nice! Actually I'm very sure that in many aspects, average Swiss person can learn a lot from average Cambodian person - for example in maintaining functioning neighborhood communities, working ethics, and even gender roles.

Until now, I think I haven't written a lot about impressions of Cambodian society, it's people and it's culture. That's mainly because I believe, it requries a certain caution or care when doing so, and I didn't have a take on that, because I'm unsure of the lines to over-culturalization or -individualization. After two months I might have made certain experiences and had impressions but I'm not sure on making conclusions about society or culture.